This family always has had goose for Christmas dinner, going back at least 25 years. It was therefore with consternation that we learnt last month that our elder son "does not really like goose". Since the rest of us aren't very keen on turkey, I became rather anxious.
At first, I tried - with singular lack of success - to source a capon. Then I was told that capons were chemically castrated, which put me off the idea.
My daughter-in-law, who is Canadian, said that the centrepiece of her cousins' Christmas dinner last year had been a 'turducken' - a boned chicken inside a boned duck inside a boned turkey. It had been very well received, and it got me thinking - although I have an inbuilt resistance to eating anything the name of which begins with 'turd'.
Eventually, I found the website of an organic meat shop in Hampshire, http://www.pfo-shop.co.uk/, which said it could supply me with a 'gallantry' - a pheasant stuffed into a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey. I loved the name, which sounds wonderfully Old English, and although the price (£100) was a bit of a downer, I thought to myself 'what the hell!', and ordered it.
It is due to be delivered tomorrow, and I await its arrival with some trepidation. I'll have to do some fridge-rejigging to make room for the thing - my fridges are increasingly full of half-used jars of this, that and the other, not to mention all the fresh fruit and veg that I normally keep in them. Luckily it's cold outside, so - provided I can find a suitable container - I can leave some veg in the back yard.
Meanwhile, I don't know whether or not the gallantry will arrive complete with stuffing.
Watch this space!